People in love make me want to vomit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
