No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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