It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
