we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
