It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
