woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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