my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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