Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
