hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
PANTIES FOUND
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize