Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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