Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
