The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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