And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
