True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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