Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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