my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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