It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
