And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
