I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
