Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
