we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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