Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize