You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
