What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
