Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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