Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize