so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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