this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
