i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
