She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it's great music for shaving your balls
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
