Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
wow bdsm is so cute
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
