our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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