My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
