whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
