He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
