I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
