Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
