my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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