what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
