please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize