When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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