I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
