just tell him i said nine months
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
