So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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