I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
