Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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