Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
