They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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