I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize