All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
