Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
