STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I had to cum in my sink.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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