How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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