Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
