I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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