belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
