Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
